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How to tell if a woman is mad at you: 1.She`s quiet 2.She`s yelling 3.She acts the same 4.She acts different 5.She murdered you
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I have explosive diarrhea right now,"
Facebook. Where people can express thoughts that otherwise might get them fired, divorced, thrown in a loony bin or all three.
Our phone falls, we panic... our friends fall, we laugh.
When I drink alcohol.. everyone says I`m an alcoholic. But.. When I drink Fanta.. no one says I`m fantastic.
Nothing changes a Facebook relationship status faster than a weekend full of tagged photos!
My ex girlfriend had a really weird fetish. She used to dress up as herself and then act like a f*cking b!tch all the time.
My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No it doesn`t."
She looks like the kind of girl that brings a suitcase on the first date.
Take me seriously at your own risk.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart
Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
No one thinks the screenshot of your text messages are as funny as you do. No one.
If Shakespeare is correct and "all the world is a stage" then I seriously would like to be in control of that trap door.