Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he`s just a lamp so what does he really know anyway
Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring ... so I go back to being me. ;)
I commend any woman for going into labor outside a hospital setting. If I have to poop anywhere besides my own bathroom I go into panic mode
I tried being modest once, as expected I was amazing at it.
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I`m living in their attic...
It`s not an attitude problem, it`s the way I am.
Talk to me long enough and you`ll realize why I`m single.
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor.
That amazing moment when you post a comment on Facebook and everyone likes it.
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
Sex in the City is the prequel to The Golden Girls, right?
Kissing a sleeping woman in an animated Disney movie is romantic but do it on a bus and the judge doesn`t agree.
If you love something, feed it so much that it get’s too fat for anyone else to want.