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Wouldn’t it be great to hear a priest say “been there, done that” in reply to your confessed sins?
If my statuses had a smell.. they would smell funny
All sex is safe sex if you keep your bright orange reflective vest on.
I have one question about Insanity, "Are we there yet"?
Before meeting a hot chick, wish I could talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
I`m not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called “Identity Theft”.
Must be lonely over there on "I`m offended by jokes" island.
The best way to a woman`s heart is by saying three words - You lost weight.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You`re making a scene."
The guy who named the "chimichanga" should be given more authority to name things.
Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.
Typical: you have nothing to wear for a party and suddenly the rabbits, the birds and the mice begin to sew you a dress
I`m really sick of responsibility ... and underwear
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!