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Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
State of mind is in no mind to state its state of mind.
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
If your camel toe looks like a elephants hoof, you might want to rethink the yoga pants.
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
I`m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off a bunch of sh!t all at the same time.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
when a police officer yells turn around . Do not respond by singing . Every now and then i get a little bit lonely when you never come around
The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions
To hell with the "dislike" button! i think we need a "who cares" button, a "WTF" button and a "STFU!" button. just saying.... Oh and a "lol" button because i just get tired of writing it! lol!
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
Ignoring things don`t make them go away, it makes them drunk dial you.
We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.
The waitress asked if I was done with that, I said yes but I`m married to it.
Sex-ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat.