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How do I tell my boss I don`t want to do work anymore but still want money.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich?
Just because leggings stretch dont mean yo 465 pound a$$ should be in them!
You don`t look like 200 likes in person
My car said "low on fuel"..I replied "low on cash"..I`m still waiting for a reply..
These old people at the bus stop really suck at paintball.
Coworker drank the last of the coffee and now he`s going to the clinic for a `work related` injury.
Whenever I try cleaning my room I either end up making a bigger mess, or just playing with the stuff I thought I lost.
This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: “Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”
Helping my kid study for her geology exam, and apparently `hard` `classic` and `punk` are not the 3 different types of rock.
Ladies, wonder if he`s busy or ignoring your texts? Offer to send nudes. If he instantly responds, he was totally ignoring you before.
Breast awareness month: we stare because we care
People who enjoy life, rarely have a flat stomach.
After lengthy reflection, I’ve concluded that having kids wasn’t worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me.
So there`s a t.v. show called, It`s Me or the Dog?.. I was disappointed to find out its not a game show where people guess who farted