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Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever`s password I`m using has got to be pissed!
Omg!! got 6 numbers on the Lotto.. and the stupid machine didn´t pick any of them
I bet some of you would absolutely kill it in a race where you had to jump over obstacles while looking at your phone.
People say that marriage is a job...marriage is not a job, its a hobbie!! Dating while you`re married...that`s a job!!
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
The mind is like a parachute .... It doesn`t work if it isn`t open.
If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
The last time I saw something as ugly as your face I pinned a tail on it.
Five little words that will win my heart, "I brought beer and pizza."
Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
Nothing says "under the thumb" like a joint Facebook account
Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.