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McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
I’m single by choice. Not my choice, but still a choice!
Famous people could rob banks wearing masks of themselves and they`d never get caught.
Sure, Men love funny women. As long as they are pretty...and skinny...and they have a great pair of knockers!!
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
The problem with plants is that you have to water them… like more than once apparently.
The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more.
"Wow, you look good today!” is not a compliment if it comes with a genuinely surprised look.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
For over 20 years, I thought Bon Jovi gave love a Band-Aid
If you could see what goes on inside my head, you would have nightmares for weeks!
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching.
Are you bored? Go to someone`s Facebook wall, Scroll down 4 months and like something.
I only say "bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume it didn`t take and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.
A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.