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Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
Sometimes it’s funnier when you DON’T add “lol” at the end. lol
How crazy is it that we used to say "three and a half inch floppy" with a straight face
I’m not so much goofing off as impersonating upper management.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats
The synonym for `reality` is `offline`
I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it`s nice to see agreeable babies out there.
I`m sorry if I come across as crude, outspoken, and opinionated. That`s only because I am crude, outspoken, and opinionated.
To be honest, I´m just fishing for compliments tonight.
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
Just shaved my legs for the first time since October...just kidding, it`s not warm enough for that yet.
These are not pizza stains on my shirt they are pizza memories, wonderful wonderful memories.
My boss yelled at me today “It’s the fifth time you’ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!” I said, “Probably that it’s Friday?"...
How many days in a row do you have to wear the same clothes until you’re legally a cartoon?