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I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making.
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
The only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed.
You know your old when your back goes out more than you do.
I`m a responsible person. People are always saying "I know you`re responsible for this."
Life Lesson: Never ever, ever do anything you wouldn`t want to explain to a nurse in a busy ER.
Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched....well, at least that`s what the restraining order says.
The difference between your house smelling like delicious popcorn or burnt a$$ is around 24 seconds ..
Hash browns not tags.
I just saw a 3D printer at the UPS store. It`s kind of cool, but I won`t be impressed until it can print snacks...
I`d divorce my wife but I never want to see her that happy!
Today is boozeday, I mean Tuesday...same difference!
A lot of woman turn into good drivers. So if you`re a good driver, beware of women drivers when their making a turn.