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Time flies when you’re having a drunken blackout.
She might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty`s only a light switch away.
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
Counting to ten when someone pisses you off works much better if you`re counting punches.
I`d like to give a big shout-out to all my hard of hearing friends!
I`ve officially reached the point in my life where the trash goes out on Friday nights way more often than I do.
Bars are Weird Its the only Business that kicks you out for buying TOO much of their Product
After a certain point, the `F` on the thermometer no longer stands for Fahrenheit.
I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it`s nice to see agreeable babies out there.
They called themselves geologists because stoners was already taken.
Some days you`re the Titanic, some days you`re the iceberg, and some days you`re the guy who jumped off and hit a propeller on the way down.
Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
Making good decisions doesn’t really go with my outfit.
When I was little I didn`t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it`s obvious that my parents didn`t care either.