Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Much to my daughters horror, I just sang along to Ace of Base`s “The Sign” at full volume in a van full of her friends. Being a dad is fun!
Women are like bacon: They look good, They smell good, They taste good, And they will kill you slowly.
If they have an Ice Cream Truck for kids why don’t that have a Beer Truck for adults?
I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was just a florist.
You know that you have eaten way too much junk food when you start actually craving something healthy.
I`m leaving my body to science because even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
Make Monday More Fun: Unplug the copier at work and put a sign on it that says “Now Voice Activated!” Sit back and watch the magic unfold..
I hate when I`m about to hug somebody really sexy and my face hits the mirror!!
Had a great time watching the family oriented PG rated Shrek with my grandson last night... until he asked why a Donkey would have sex with a Dragon.
That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow.
Why do grown ups pay to go to gyms to exercise on expensive equipment? Can`t we meet at a park after work and play tag until dark?
I have the ability to drive people crazy. I`m not sure if I was born with it or if I learned it. But damn am I great at it.
I bet if you look up dictionary in the dictionary it says "don`t be an a$$hole"
We should be nicer to old people. When they walked uphill both ways in the snow they had to do it without an internet connection too.
Hysterical Shrieking should be reserved for truly serious situations such as Centipedes, Spiders, and that Creepy Uncle that likes to give everyone back rubs.....