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Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
Superman and Batman probably had a lot of "capes in the toilet water" accidents when they went to take a dump.
I don`t really work, I just kinda stand around and be awesome.
If we agree, I`m probably being sarcastic ... Or I`m drunk
Halloween is the perfect time to redistribute those undesired condiment packets of ketchup, mustard, BBQ & soy sauce.
I don`t get why he counts the beer before he leaves to work... There`s never any left when he comes home.
Anything I say or do before I`ve had my coffee doesn`t count.
would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
Getting back with your ex is pretty much the same as taking a shower, getting out, and putting back on the same old dirty underwear.
"Bros before hoes" is something a bro without a hoe would say.
All I’m saying is you don’t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
I’ve been really depressed these past few days. Finally visited a therapist and got diagnosed. Turns out, I’m poor.
It`s amazing how different the phrases "alcohol free" and "free alcohol" are.
I was the only one that cared when Jimmy cracked corn.