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I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
It`s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
If she can cook like her mother and drink like her father, she`s a keeper.
If you can´t say anything nice ... we´re probably related.
If you are a turkey right now and someone offers to cut off your head, stuff you full of dressing, and cook you, do not do it. It is a trap.
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an I-pad
I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up.
"I`m not drunk" - Biggest Friday Night Lie.
I want to grow my own food but I can`t find any bacon seeds.
Alcohol doesn`t make you fat, it makes you lean..........against tables, chairs, walls, and garbage cans.
The only time I`ve ever used sex to get what I want is when I want sex.
Dear God, I´ve been very good today, no grumpy thoughts, no swearing and I haven´t been mean at all, but I´m about to get up now and I may need your help :)
I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.