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Who is this "Moderation" they keep telling me to drink with?
I have a feeling I already know which direction my "Get rich or die trying" lifestyle is headed.
Where do suicide bombers go when they die? Everywhere.
Those 4 words that will get any girl into bed with you. `I won the lottery`.
It’s ok if you don’t agree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
My brain is about as well organized as the Walmart $5 dvd bin.
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."
Fun: text a friend "Are you alone right now?" They go "Yes." Then u text back LOL
In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I`m keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
I hate it when people hate me without even giving me a chance to give them a good reason to.
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
The most frustrating thing about watching Nascar is that they never signal
Taxes are like a subscription to your country that you can`t cancel, no matter how bad the service gets.
i like boobs
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at him.