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Anyone know when Facebook is sending us our W-2`s?
Some of the best decisions I’ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send.
I am not the same person at 8am and 8pm.
I need my coffee before I start pretending to work.
When I was a kid... No wait. I still do that.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said "Do one thing every day that scares you" and that`s why I weigh myself in the mornings.
The only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance...
I don`t have a police record ... but I think I do have a Sting cd around here somewhere.
For all the parents with kids starting school I just want to say congratulations. You made it through another summer without killing your children!! I am proud of you all!!
I bet every guy would be faithful if God took an inch off his d!ck every time he cheated...
Having a bad day? Imagine a T-Rex trying to masturbate. you`re welcome.
I have heard of women that aren`t crazy, but I`ve also heard of Unicorns.
I`m thinking about remodeling my bathroom and thanks to all your selfies I`m getting some great ideas!!.....
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Ever wish the choice you made and the “right thing to do” were the same thing?