Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m glad you’re learning to laugh at yourself. That was kind of getting awkward for the rest of us.
My weekends are basically just spent splitting a bloomin` onion with my bros at Outback Steakhouse while trying to figure out why girls don`t like us.
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
Leaving your window open for an hour and the cast from f*cking Bugs Life decided to start producing their second movie.
I can`t be the only one who thinks "Game on, mother f*cker" when I see an air freshner in a bathroom.
I`m a lover, not a fighter. So if anyone is giving you trouble and you need me to have sex with them, I`m your man.
In a new study women with large a$$es live longer………the men who tell them live distinctively shorter lives.
So, which one of you is going to be the subject of your local news` annual turkey fryer accident story?
I need to get out of bed and do something so I can justify taking a nap later.
Well, today was a complete waste of clean clothes.
Give a man a fish and he`ll go to McDonald`s instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald`s
If there`s a bar where everybody knows your name, you`re probably an alcoholic.
Google maps should have a “Scenic!” route option for when we’re not in a hurry and just want to enjoy the ride.
Today`s the day I like to sneak onto the intercom at Walmart and say "would Jason Voorhees please report to aisle 13."
I`m having an out of money experience.