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I will not be satisfied until I see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
Who´s up for Candyland? $20 buy in
Click Like, if you hate being told what to do.
off to bed...evil schemes don`t dream themselves up.
If I ran NASA, it would be mandatory for the ground crew to be dressed as apes when the space shuttle lands.
That moment when you are having a conversation in your head and you realize you are making faces that go along with the silent conversation.
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was “reduced fat” so basically it was like going to the gym.
Dear piece of paper that wont go in the dust pan ... f*ck you!
How much Hershey`s Chocolate Syrup can I add before it`s really not a SlimFast shake anymore?
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched....well, at least that`s what the restraining order says.
I like to walk up to strangers and ask, "Would you take a photo of me?" If they say yes I hand them a photo of me and walk away.
For some reason I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?
The only good thing about being an alcoholic is that no one ever asks me to drive them anywhere.