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Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.
I`ve eaten enough chinese food in my day that my fortune cookies have started to contradict one another
I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces
when my swear jar gets full I`m going to use the money to buy a f*cking puppy
does anyone know if smurfs are gluten free
is spending my children´s inheritance.
likes to end all my phone calls with "Ok, I`ll see you later on at the party!" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out.
Tenderizing the meat sounds a lot sexier than it is
I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti! I just want a future archaeologist to have a great day!
The day I understand females will be the day i`ll be officially known as Jesus
For some reason, I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why!
I like to start my day by taking a shower, having some coffee and going online for 14-16 hours.
if your dirty, your dirty... you cant fix it
I just googled, "understanding women," the computer crashed.