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Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone`s cake is way harder than it looks on cartoons.
I think I`m gonna shave my legs so that there`s less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.
The older I get .... The more dangerous it is to sneeze
im like the government: i spend money on things that aren`t important, and spend most of my time trying to explain to people why i need them.
Do one thing every day that scares you. Or one thing that scares other people.
Everything I ever needed to know about structural engineering, I learned from Angry Birds.
People are always weirded out when I take notes during episodes of Dexter.
Today is National I Don`t Feel Like Doing Sh!t Day. Celebrate accordingly.
The best thing about owning a Smart Car is if you get too drunk at the bar you can just carry it home.
In a new study women with large a$$es live longer………the men who tell them live distinctively shorter lives.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
Left the toilet seat up. Wife screaming in 5, 4, 3, 2...
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….