Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can tell how a persons life is going by how they press the crosswalk button.
?-- that guy is cute ?
It`s weird how we are all here because of boners
My friend sent his wedding invitation from Facebook Event. I sent him a gift from Farmville.
Because of tanning beds, 1000 years from now archaeologists will think we used to fry people as punishment.
It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realise that there is always a way to solve problems without violence
I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully
Like my therapist always says, "I`m not your therapist, you`re just laying on a couch in Ikea"
My mom just sent me a friend request on Facebook! Finally I can use that "I`m not your friend I`m your mother" speech to my advantage.
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
I just told my wife it took her longer to pick a Netflix movie than it took me to pick out her engagement ring and that was a bad analogy.
I`m no auto mechanic but I`m pretty good at letting people who drive behind me know whether or not they need new brakes
I don`t appreciate my son`s teacher circling all the wine stains on his homework.
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it.. So now I have to live in constant fear.. O_o
Most of the lies I tell aren`t even true!