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I`m going to a wedding rehearsal this weekend. Wedding rehearsals are the only time you see someone practice making a mistake.
People who think I’m not a religious person should see me when the airplane starts to shake.
Is it true that the older you get the crazier you become? Or is that just me?
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
If someone starts a sentence with "words can`t express," brace yourself, because they`re about to give it a hell of a try anyway.
If a girl bangs ten dudes in a year she is a slut. If a guy done he`s gay. Definitely gay.
I was an atheist, until I realized I was a sex god.
screw flowers, its all about chia pets ;)
I can`t find my happy place this morning, mind if I goto yours
I should never have climbed into this vat of curdled milk. I`m in whey over my head.
If you think human beings have evolved a lot. Look at how much Egyptians worshiped cats. Then go look at Facebook for about 10 minutes.
You’re lucky that I’m so terrified of prison.
There are only two types of honest people in this world.....small children and drunk people.
Is it rude to put *vomits* under someone`s post ?
I wish all videos of people twerking ended with them catching on fire.