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If you allow your pets to roam free in our neighborhood, I`m gonna put party hats on em. This is non-negotiable.
Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.
I have one question about Insanity, "Are we there yet"?
I still remember the first time I lied about being able to time travel... It was 3 weeks from tomorrow.
My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn`t even come close to my 10 year old`s reaction when I told him that there`s no school today.
I imagine a world where whining on Facebook is illegal.
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think “look at all these poor people who don’t know Netflix exists.”
Unless your kids fundraiser is selling whisley, I`m not really interested
Why don`t strip clubs do Black Friday? It would be the one place I would camp out to go in.
The guy who named the "chimichanga" should be given more authority to name things.
Passive aggressive has never been my thing, I prefer chasing you with a chainsaw.
is confused. Oh wait, maybe not.
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
If you’re so much better than the leading brand then why are you not the leading brand?