Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When girls wear yoga pants I feel like a ghost from Mario. Uncontrollably attracted when they turn away, but frozen when they look at me.
We have those sticky traps all around the house and I just found one moved clear across the room with all sorts of hair on it....so if anyone see`s a BALD mouse running around, it belongs to me
Every so often I’ll listen to my wife talk non stop for hours at a time, to remind myself why people wander into traffic without looking.
God is creative... I mean look at me??
Is it "poon tang", or "poontang"? I`m trying to update my Christian Mingle profile.
When Life rains on your parade, get out the Slip-n-Slide.
My plan for today? Same as always: Drink coffee and be sexy.
i was sooo funny i cracked me off.......
Is it bad when I´m talking to myself and I´m not even listening?
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
I don`t mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide...
Baby.. I wanna be the reason you need therapy.
Hey NSA... I accidentally deleted an email... Can I get you to forward me your copy?
Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I`m really fun to talk to.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....