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Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart?
the jeremy kyle show, the only place you`ll see a six month old baby with more teeth than thier parents
Good judgement comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement
For Display Only` signs on the toilets at Home Depot. Sorry guys my bad. ;)
Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I`m looking for the thumbs-down button.
I’m glad we can’t smell each other through the internet.
The mind is like a parachute .... It doesn`t work if it isn`t open.
I can`t tell if I`m really nice but secretly an a$$hole or an a$$hole but secretly really nice.
It`s time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it`s over
I do not argue, I explain why I’m right.
I won $20 by not playing the lottery last night!
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
I really like ceilings,.. I guess you could call me a ceiling fan.
This weekend, a woman in colorado gave birth inside a Wal Mart. Apparently, its the first thing found in a Wal Mart not made in China.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. Then they are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”