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They say you have real problems if you hear disembodied voices; fortunately all my imaginary friends have bodies.
my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
Netflix is soo much better than going out and pretending to like people.
Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.
I enjoy planting sex toys at yard sales in nice neighborhoods, then sit back to watch the magic unfold.
Bring a CD into my car that I "have to hear" and I`ll figure out a way to deploy the passenger side airbags
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn`t recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
"Well, now I see how you came up with the word `Microsoft`." -Melinda Gates (on their wedding night)
I don’t just sing in the shower... I perform.
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Word for today: Dipshidiot
I have the means to do anything that I want on my day off from work which means that I dont want to do anything on my day off from work.
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..