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I have this condition that prevents me from going on a diet. I get hungry.
Sometimes it’s funnier when you DON’T add “lol” at the end. lol
why hello there stalker! Enjoying my profile?(=
I`ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him the picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: "Wtf Dude, you`re 23."
The only thing worse than a male chauvinistic pig is a woman that won’t do as she is told
I`ve always pictured myself taking selfies.
Much like a dog, men will pretty much do anything you want if you feed them first.
If thought bubbles appeared over our heads, I would get punched in the face a lot more.
May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
You know nothing about a woman until she`s drunk and mad at you
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
There are two types of people...don`t worry you are not one of them.
I`m so out of shape, Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me.
Apparently people don`t like it when you lick your thumb and wipe all that black dirt off their forehead.