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Bologna sandwiches are parents way of saying... it`s my legal obligation to feed you something.
Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you`re in.
is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
If doing things was as easy as thinking about doing things I’d get a lot more done.
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
If I’ve learned anything from Game of Thrones it’s that I need a wolf.
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
I wish people would stop judging me before they find out how much of an a$$hole I actually am.
It`s amazing how tired I get from how little I do.
A man asks a trainer in a gym - "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?" Trainer replies - "use the ATM"
I`ve spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can`t find his nuggets.
To the individual who sat outside in their car, across the street from our house, at 530 am and had Led Zepplens Immigrant Song blaring at full volume, I have one thing to say to you! AWESOME CHOICE DUDE!!!!!!!