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The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
If a bra is called an `over the shoulder bolder holder`, then what would you call men underwear? Under the butt nut hut
I am looking at this online special deal at Disneyworld and thinking no, my kids can annoy me just fine right here at home.
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
I`ve been hiding from exercise. I`m in the fitness protection program.
I may not be the richest guy...or the smartest guy...or the funniest guy...or the best-looking guy...or the .....:( Forget it, now I`m depressed.
Music that is meant to be played at a reasonable volume is completely pointless.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Your just jealous because u don`t hear the voices.
What if dreams are just glimpses of alternate universes?
Did the Baha Men ever find their dogs? Did they put up posters or just sing that song?
Lazy Rule #23 :No Shower Is Needed, If your Not Going Anywhere...
Just heard someone pronounce the H in wheel so I`m gonna need a minute
The ultimate home security system is just having crappy stuff.
If you didn’t want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn’t have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.