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I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive ..."Hi"
Don`t date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.
The most terrifying thing a woman can say to me is "notice anything different?"
I know it`s rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you`re unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me
No pornhub I do not want to share this video with my friends & family on Facebook
I`m certain that the reason for Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
If I’ve learned anything from Game of Thrones it’s that I need a wolf.
If you ever come over unannounced, it`ll take me at least three minutes to answer the door because there is no way I was already wearing pants.
My love for you is beyond words so don’t expect a Valentine’s Day card from me.
Life is tough. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like the rest of us.
I just discovered my oven CAN CLEAN ITSELF! Naturally I will be searching my apartment looking for similar buttons.
If you never jumped from sofa to sofa as a kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
The "Beware of Cat" sign posted outside my house doesn`t seem to be having the desired affect.
So there`s a t.v. show called, It`s Me or the Dog?.. I was disappointed to find out its not a game show where people guess who farted