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Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people so where my tolerance level is at.
I must say I enjoy it more when a girl asks me out. To me, there`s nothing more attractive than that high level of confidence, initiative, and poor judgment.
Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I`d say there`s a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep.
I remember, once upon a time... for about 2 seconds... about 13 years ago... I almost gave a damn.
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
You know you`re getting old when cops make you feel safe instead of nervous.
The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself"...and spiders. Oh, and ticks and nuclear war and getting laid off and losing your eye sight and...
I hate it when totally random strangers ask me stupid questions like "Why are you licking me?"
"Latte" is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
Due To ObamaCare and the poor economy Holiday Cheer this year will be distributed in Shot Glasses...
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine. And you know what else? Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine.
The real reason I’m not a superhero…. Pockets, I need my pockets.