Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I will do a lot of things but admitting I`m cold to my wife who told me to bring a warmer jacket isn`t one of them...
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!!
Legally,It´s questionable. Morally,It´s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
At this point I`m guessing the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they completely lost their minds
Of course I plan to seize the day ... Eventually.
A colon is used to indicate a list of elements to the sentence preceding it. A semicolon is for making winky faces.
Why isn`t there a roomba that cuts grass? Probably some stupid law about sending a blade wielding robot out into the neighborhood.
I attend weddings simply to hear them two beautiful words that bring so many happy people together...."Open Bar!!"
Just bought two donuts without sprinkles...Diets are hard!
Ghetto wet floor sign: Caution Bitches Be Trippin
This status has been censored by Facebook
Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild
It`s not karma, you`re just an idiot.
Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco.
The quality of a good neighbour is not seeing them often.