Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Since you were smiling when you tazed me, I`m guessing we still have a chance.
Modern video games are giving kids unrealistic standards of how many swords they can carry at one time.
When I`m in a good mood I act like I`m in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
Did you ever think that one day you would be this addicted to reading and writing?
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
Life gets expensive when you trust a cute woman.
Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
There`s a lot of perks being a single parent, for one no witnesses.
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
when humans are in love they get butterflys...dose that mean when butterflys are in love they get humans!! :)
One thing horror movies have helped me realize is that as a parent, you definitely want to avoid having demonic children
Within 2 minutes, I can gather enough things to allow me to sit and watch tv without getting up for at least 4 hours... Don`t question my laziness
If you can read this please let me know - because it means I blocked the wrong person.
Having a pen!s is like having a friend that always wants to play.