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Sorry I got drunk and angry and said all those things I meant but still shouldn`t have said.
If it requires pants, its not happening today.
No one knows what women really want, but everyone agrees it still won`t be enough.
If someone starts a sentence with "words can`t express," brace yourself, because they`re about to give it a hell of a try anyway.
Judge me if you will, just keep the verdict to yourself.
Everybody values honesty, until they have an ugly baby.
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
For all we know, half the birds are telling the other birds to shut up.
No matter how old you are, If a little kid shoots you with a toy gun, you pretend to die.
Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...
So who the heck ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
Today I saw a girl with the word "Anel" on her butt. I was like, woah..it`s supposed to say "Anal"..it`s spelled wrong then I realized it was supposed to say "Angel". The G was stuck in her a$$crack
Trying to master the art of eating a powdered donut without looking like I just left Charlie Sheen`s house.
I think girls secretly enjoy putting guys in the friend zone