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Do you ever wish you were a monkey? Then if you got mad at someone, you could just fling your poo at them. Problem solved.
Money can`t buy you happiness, but it does give you the ability to rent it until you die.
Amazon’s recommendations are like that friend who heard you say “ninja” once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
Yeah but why do they call him Bigfoot if both of his feet are the exact same size
Its O.K. to laugh during sex … just don’t point ! ... trust me
I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision.
Anyone else has a plastic bag at home full of plastic bags?
The Teen Choice Awards air last tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren`t allowed to vote.
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
Last night I was walking the sexiest girl ever home until she turned around and saw me.
There`s no WE in pizza.
Just when I think I`m over my insomnia the car behind me honks.
I was wondering why some couples don`t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don`t work out...
I`m on a whiskey diet. So far I`ve lost 3 days.
If by time, you mean vodka, then yes, time does heal all wounds.