Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m a huge fan of screaming "You`re welcome" really loud when people don`t say thank you...
A fairy godmother but for breakups. She takes your phone and leaves alcohol and possibly your first cat.
So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
If I`m guilty of anything, it`s loving too much. And several outstanding speeding tickets. But mostly loving too much.
Long busy day, I need one of those hugs that turns into sex.
Never squat with your spurs on
I will never forget the day when she said yes to me because that was the last time we agreed on anything.
Did you guys know that turning up the radio fixes almost all your car problems?! Crazy.
I`d totally order a salad bar. If it had lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, ketchup, mustard, hamburger and buns.
People go on and on about the length of Subway`s sandwiches but how come nobody talks about their girth?
It’s not what you wear; it’s how you take it off.