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I miss the days when minding your own business was a thing.
Money may not buy you happiness, but it does buy you all the sh1t you want!
"Let`s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise" - sports fans
At a wedding reception someone yelled: “All the married men please stand next to the person that made your life worth living” The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
With Halo 4, Black Ops II and Assasins Creed III, I think November might register the lowest teen pregnancy rates in a long time!
Why are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison.
Sometimes I just wish people were as easy to forget as PIN numbers.
The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.
Where have you been all my life? Can you go back there?
Go ahead, post sober. Ruin everything.
Learn to fight like you`re the third monkey trying to get on the Ark!
There is a gym called Anytime Fitness. I choose 2030.
There`s nothing a floored gas pedal and cranked music can`t cure.
Ringing in the “New Year” apparently is not a valid excuse for showing up to work 3 hours late… in October.
So today my gym was crowded...at least I think it was a gym...Do gyms usually have drive thrus?