Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and texted me 3 days later asking if I have a girlfriend yet.
Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?
There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
You drink too much, swear too much and your morals are questionable. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a friend.
About 110,000 people contract chlamydia each month, more than signed up for Obamacare. Obamacare is less popular than chlamydia.
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
With great power comes a great electricity bill.
I`m only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand
If you smell Axe body spray on your lawyer,, you`re going to jail.
Pretty busy today. Was only able to check my phone 1400 times.
If you recieve something that says,”Send it to all your friends” , then please don`t consider me as your friend.
status uploading
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.
Rapunzel is my favorite fairy tale about a woman who finds happiness when a man pulls her hair.
So red or white wine with hamburger helper?