Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What number SPF blocks people?
If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
Yes I`m still bitter about my name not being mentioned in "Mambo No. 5"
Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: pfft. I could think of like fifty reasons, I’m not falling for that.
Sometimes I think my job is actually a hidden-camera game show where they see how much absurd bullsh!t I`ll put up with before I catch on.
I don’t know what my neighbor’s name is and we’ve been neighbors too long for me to ask.
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low…Well, sure, it’s hard to steal a car when the owner’s living in it…
I just ate 3 whole chickens ... they were hard boiled.
If you hold a 40oz bottle to your ear you can hear the ghetto.
I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
I drank so much vodka last night I woke up with a Russian accent.
The sun and I have an understanding. He gets up before I do.
I’m so glad I was young and stupid before there were camera phones.
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you?