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My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald’s stops serving breakfast.
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
96% of my life is spent trying to figure out when I can get my next nap in.
My poor neighbour suffered a stroke today...I must remember to close the blinds before getting naked.
In my defense, it was a fantastic idea at 3am...
You are so selfish! You´re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!
Thinking about waking up early for a run. Mostly thinking about how I will not be doing that.
There`s a word for people like you and that word is "leave."
"I get knocked down, but I get up again, You`re never gonna keep me down" ~Bowling pins
Hey whiny kids with iPhones: when I was your age, I played with a stick.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Of all the possible utensils that could have been invented to eat rice with... How did 2 sticks win out!?
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.