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Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel, that`s why I like you.
Our parents always taught us NOT to write on walls... Facebook teaches us differently
It`s weird how we are all here because of boners
My New Year`s resolution was to lose 15 lbs by the middle of February. I have 20 lbs. to go.
Does everyone have that one dumb ass that finds you on Facebook and will not give up? Repeated friend requests, inbox messages, and follows my pages. It is driving me nuts. I understand at some point I will have to give in, but just because I am married to her doesn`t mean I have to like her, right?
Good news I passed my drug test today. But now my drug dealer has some explaining to do.
I really like my new electric toothbrush, even though sometimes, I still break out the acoustic.
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
Day six of my push-up challenge. So far, I`ve eaten 107 push-up pops.
The only person that can procrastinate more than me hasn`t even been born yet.
Asking me if I’m hungry, is like asking me if I like money.
Just blew the sugar off my donut… Dieting is hard!
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
It looks like bathroom tai chi but it`s me trying to trigger the automatic paper towel dispenser.
I got so much Crazy going on that the term "Bi-Polar" would be excessively underestimating my condition, let`s go with "Multi-Polar" from now on.........