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Don`t ask me for advice, my answer is always get them drunk.
Hi, it’s me. I can’t get to the phone right now, even though it’s right here in my hand.
A walk of shame is always sad. Don`t make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
if your happy and you know it ---thank your ex
Thou shall not promote Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
United Airlines.... Board as Doctor, leave as patient.
The girl in the car next to me is totally checking me out. I think she likes me. After I`m done picking my nose, I`m gonna smile and wave.
ROFL!!….. LOL jk i’m still in my chair.
I just saw a woman at Walmart with March Madness teeth ... She was down to the final four.
The problem with taking the road less traveled is the poor phone signal...
Water is so good when it`s mixed with grains and yeast, fermented and then distilled and aged.
Doctor: How`s your headache? Me: She`s out of town.
Most of my colleagues and friends can`t spell colleagues or friends.
every woman iz beautuful n her unique way, smtimz it needs sm amount of alcohol to see with
The quality of a good neighbour is not seeing them often.