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I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
Legally,It´s questionable. Morally,It´s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
It may not look like it, but I`m actually very handsome.
Male or female, no one f*cks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
When I win the lottery, the first thing I`m going to buy is a pot to piss in. I`ve always wanted one of those.
My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said “too ugly to prostitute”
Girl Scout cookie season is scientifically timed to occur just as people are giving up on their New Year`s resolutions.
My house is not messy. Those are just obstacles I`ve put in place for burglars.
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
?”Nobody listens to me….” – Yellow traffic light
dude i wasent tht drunk you were huging a peice of chese saying ill never let u go sponge bob
Do angry people know about naps?
When parents on Facebook post about how they can`t believe their kid is going into whatever grade, write "No way! I thought for sure he`d be held back!"
New philosophy on life: Do unto others, then run like hell.