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Those of you who say “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” don’t really get how the whole “dead” thing works, do you?
Ever wondered why there is a stairway to heaven, and a highway to hell? There´s apparently more traffic going to hell!!
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Are you guys sure common sense can`t be beaten into people ? Because I`d like to give it try!
I was an atheist, until I realized I was a sex god.
Congrats on winning an argument with your woman...... Your prize is a night on the couch.
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
you have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting
The only thing worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat is sitting on a warm one.
Stupid people who suddenly make a smart decision have no idea how confusing that is for the rest of us.
Beer is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
I wish that some of my coworkers were not allowed in the break room because those are the people I need a break from.
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!