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Just curious, when pirates use text, IM or twitter, do they used emoticons` like .) .P .D or .( or do they try to fool us by using the two eyed ones?
Social media - keeping people away from each other since 2006.
My bank statement is just a visual record of bad decisions
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
Without the sanctity of marriage there wouldn`t be job security for divorce attorneys and marriage counselors.
The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, Netflix
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
I woke up praying McDonald`s would still be serving breakfast but I just missed it by 6 hours.
You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
I was voted `Most Paranoid` by my classmates at school. Although they never admitted it.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
There`s a thin line between "I should write a status about that" and "I should talk to my therapist about that"....
What if Justin Bieber is also Miley Cyrus? I mean have you ever seen them in one place at the same time?
Dear wind, what has my hair ever done to you?