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If the voices in my head had a British accent I would listen to them more often.
PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
WHAT DO WE WANT!!! A cure for hangovers WHEN DO WE WANT IT!!! Please stop yelling
Yes, I dance in my car. Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care.
There are 3 reasons for ”Liking” someone’s Facebook status: 1. I agree. 2. I realise this is about me, so I’m liking it to rub it in your face. 3. I want to bang you.
If all the worlds a stage and the men and women merely players, how come Justin Bieber gets all the airtime?
If everybody was consistently as determined as they are when they carry all groceries in one trip, this world would be in a better place.
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Looking forward to `Breaking Bad` merchandise. Especially the cook book.
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village wants one.
It`s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches...
Stop picking on Justin Bieber. That`s somebody`s daughter.
My Superpower is eating 5 times the "suggested serving" size.
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
I usually spend my Mondays texting apologies but I`ve had an alcohol free weekend now I have nothing to do.