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"Please don`t put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends" - Every baby
Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you`re ignorant and make bad decisions.
Some people see a glass as half empty. Some see a glass as half full. Most need to get a life & do something besides stare at glasses.
If money cant buy happiness,explain beer!
Legally, it`s questionable .. Morally, it`s disgusting .. Personally, I love it. ;)
She deleted and blocked me so I guess you can say we`re taking it slow now.
The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
I`m tired of doing math. I guess I`ll get my lazy as up and fix my clocks today
cuss words = sentence enhancers
I almost talked my way out of a ticket today by telling a female cop she was very attractive, but things went sour when I said "and that`s not just the booze talking either".
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises.
These Jehovah`s Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant.
Apparently asking girl scouts which cookie pairs nicely with whiskey is inappropriate....
1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance – My stages of getting ready for work