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How can we call ourselves "evolved" when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
The best thing about the internet is how quickly you can offend the maximum amount of people with minimum effort
In space they just call it "Jam"
Where does Peter Pan have his lunch? At Wendy`s.
Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
Helping my kid study for her geology exam, and apparently `hard` `classic` and `punk` are not the 3 different types of rock.
My wife said to go out and buy something that makes her look hot & sexy for Valentine`s Day! So I got drunk.
If you`re feeling too good about yourself, go ask a 5 yr old to guess your age. That should even things out.
A girl phoned me the other day and said “Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home.
When you are a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since I last saw you!" As an adult, not so much.
I just slammed hard on the brakes and found 3 lighters, $4.67 in change, condom box, empty flask, half an 1/8th, and a puppy.
Did you know , that if you use asterisk , you can do anything you want ? * gets on a t-rex and gallops away into the sunset *
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, does it really have calories?
RIP to my hair dryer. It was the only thing to blow me for the last 10 years and never complain.