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I enjoy long walks on the beach and that thing you just did with that banana.
Attention fuels immaturity
Since my girlfriend has gotten pregnant alot has changed... Like my name, address and telephone number.
I was sad, because I had no shoes. Until I met a man that had no feet. So, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan`t using them anyway!
I hope your day is as nice as your butt.
I like to smile at people who don`t like me because I`m an asshole
Hardest question in a relationship, "What do you feel like eating?"
I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.
Ok, I admit. Everything that`s wrong in your life is your fault.
I`m getting worried about this Ebola virus. I mean, I`ve got Norton but...
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it, now I live in constant fear.
Amnesia sounds so relaxing.
I will stop loving you, when Spongebob gets his driving license.
there is no strong beer, only weak men
If you grew up wanting to be a Plumber or a Pizza delivery boy, You watched too much porn as a kid.