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Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
During Sex you burn as much calories as running 5 miles ... Who the f*ck runs 5 miles in 30 seconds.
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
I swear this is the last time I watch Groundhog Day
Seeing a spider isn`t a problem. It becomes a problem when the spider disappears.
No matter how loud you crank the bass, it`s still a minivan.
Let`s be honest. If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made cows faster.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart
If history repeats itself then I am SO getting a dinosaur.
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
I was voted `Most Paranoid` by my classmates at school. Although they never admitted it.
Mix it up a little. Text a random phone number the following msg: "The fat one won`t fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"
Spoiler Alert: Ladies, if your guy friend gets you a teddy bear, it has a Camera in it.