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Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.
I hope Karma smacks some people before I do.
I think I will start calling my wife "My Customer" since she is always right...
It`s amazing how we are very good lawyers for our own mistakes and very good Judges for other people`s mistakes.
Every time I see a preview for Hoarders, I grab the closest thing to me and immediately throw it away.
If a man doesn`t drink when he`s living, how in the hell can he drink when he`s dead?
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity........thats how rich I want to be.
Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
Right now my life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
I read an article the other day that said if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God I only drink every night.
I was filling out this form when one of the questions asked "What level is your maturity?" I didn`t fill it out cause I couldn`t find my crayons!!
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
I always stop to help women who have broken down on the road. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how porn starts off. -Bfanch
Highways need 4 lanes per side - A NASCAR wannabe lane, a normal driver lane, an old people who drive 40 in a 70 lane & a "where in the hell am I?" lane.
It`d be nice if the married people would leave some of the single people for the rest of the single people.