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I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.
She might be ugly now, but wait a few more drinks.
The more neighbors I spy on through my binoculars, the creepier I think all my neighbors are!
Sure, I can speak Spanish... "Margarita!"
I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I`ll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of people wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
Going to write hasbro a nasty letter!!! The monopoly get out of jail free card doesn`t work...since I`m texting you can you come bail me out?
Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
It`s amazing how much more money I have when I`m drunk.
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
I`m not interested in anything that requires 5 hours of energy.
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.
Whoever made up the saying "It`s the thought that counts" never got a pair of crocs for Christmas.
I´m up way too early for someone who wasn´t planning on seizing the day.