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Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
I don`t know how many girls it takes to change a light bulb, but I guarantee we`d post pictures of us doing it on Facebook.
The olympics is the only time when you hear "Great execution by North Korea" and it seems okay.
Sugar` is the only word in English that starts with `su` and sounds like `sh`. I`m sure of it.
Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my wife threw at me.
The Never Ending Story should`ve been a movie about a phone call from my Mother
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." – Children
When people say, "You look familiar," i like to reply with, "Do you watch porn?"
Due to the rise in the economy, the position 69 will now be 96, due to the higher cost of eating out.
I snuck popcorn into the movie theater but they won’t let me use their microwave.
I’m back on my feet again!! Wait, false alarm the remote is right here.
She’s thinking about having beer pong at her reception… that’s walking a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Not sure if people stopped saying YOLO or if everyone who said it died.
Living alone is pretty cool, I don`t even know if my bathroom door closes
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center?