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why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
I`ve been told that I never take responsibility for anything, and it`s all your fault.
Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!
I always advise people never to give advice.
I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
Please respect the revolving door speed that has already been established.
Me asking if you want anything from Starbucks is my way of telling you I am going to be very, very late
To the teenager that flipped me off for honking at you. Your phone is on top of your car.
Me being rude: Shut the f*ck up. Me being polite: Please shut the f*ck up.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain “adult situations” but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid’s vomit.
?”Nobody listens to me….” – Yellow traffic light
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
Don`t just be one of those people who stares at their phone or computer twelve hours a day. It`s important to also watch some TV.
"LSD causes users to lose weight" Obviously. You can`t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge.
I`m feeling 22.. Pounds overweight.